#the guys i play dnd argued w me about some of these but i know in my heart i'm correct

[delvinganddrawing]

So, I’m watching LOTR for the first time and decided to rate each member of the fellowship as seen in The Fellowship of the Ring. Pls keep in mind that this review is objectively correct and completely factual. I will not be taking any constructive criticism at this time.

 Aragorn: literally perfect in every way which I think should dock him a point but I will let it slide. Potentially the only competent person alive on middle earth. Does the right thing always. 10/10  

Sam: most competent hobbit by FAR. Has a heart made of the purest gold. I want to kiss him. 22/10

Frodo: taking points away because I think people are too nice to him. Keeps trying to give the ring to ppl bc he just trusts whoever the tallest person in the room is. Hogs the magic items. Only person to figure out the “friend” puzzle and I think he is neat so 7/10

Merry: I like that he always corrects pippin but is never actually mean to him. Srs bsnss face lot of the times, looks a little too angry for someone who can’t fight for shit. 7/10

Pippin: I like him :3 11/10

Boromir: yeah he loses points for being a dick but he is the one true hobbit ally. More scenes of him holding a hobbit than not. Wasn’t able to save them :(( but he inspired Aragorn to realize that men and Gondor are worth saving and to believe in his own strength. has a nice smile. 7/10

Gimli: he’s hot but so far that’s about it ! Himbo thinks he can destroy the ring w an axe which is very sexy but also useless. most fuckable party member by far. 8/10

Legolas: just fucking prances around like a useless twink. His elf eyes haven’t helped us for shit so far. Very obvious that he COULD be more competent and chooses not to. He is pretty. 9/10

Gandalf: shittiest wizard I’ve ever seen. Casts like NO spells. Lost in the wizard battle. Didn’t know the answer to the puzzle he led them too. Has so much knowledge he refuses to share. Probably high. 4/10

[apterydek]

After a year of jockhood

A year of jockhood came and went, daily workouts, buzzed head, sweaty gym shorts. Though you were stronger and more comfortable than ever, you missed being preppy. Looking back at the old photos from when you wore chinos and polos instead, you remembered how you felt then: disappointed you weren’t living the jock life.

“I’m not sure what to do,” you confess to Sir. He’s the one putting you through your paces, holding you to your meal plan. He was the one who gave you your first buzz, clippers set to 1. “Though I’m living my fantasy, and I feel confident, I keep feeling like I’m missing out on all the other versions of me. This was supposed to be my final transformation, and despite all the mental training, I just can’t stick with it. I’m sorry Sir, I fear I’ve disappointed you. I know you’ve put so much effort into training me.”

Sir isn’t angry, nor let down. He’s pensive, eyes out of focus, forehead furrowed. Then, with a sudden smile, he starts: “Boy, it’s no problem. I’ve seen this before. Sensed that it might happen. It’s just that I wanted you to have the full jock experience you were so dedicated to when we first started. I know just what to do. Another year of training—”

“Another year?” you blurt in disbelief.

“Shush, boy,” he continues, stern now. “This year will be unlike the last year. Rather than get you deep into one identity, we’ll change things up every month. We’ll explore all the different versions of you. Then decide what to do next. Who knows, maybe you’ll be begging to go back to jock mode.”

Your mouth is open. “W..well…” you say, processing what Sir’s suggesting. It tingles, excitement gripping you, and you decide to comply. “Yes Sir!” you shout. He’s already thinking of what you’ll become, and within the week, you’re given your first identity.

January you kept your hoodies and trainers, but grew out your hair slightly on top even as the sides were shaved. You wore a steel necklace and a tracksuit. Manspreading, walking with a swagger. Drinking and cursing. Watching porn. Sir would catch you by surprise and pin you against the wall, getting his pleasure from you. You loved the sudden lack of discipline, the spontaneity, the cockiness.

February your hair was long enough to part and slick. Your wardrobe was entirely replaced with white briefs and singlets, gray and blue dress shirts, smart slacks, knee socks, shined shoes and even a pair of short elasticated wool shorts for home. You tucked in your shirt every day, followed a structured schedule, and learned the basics of piano and French every evening. Sir would spank you for the smallest transgressions. You came to enjoy his discipline, the way your energy was controlled and focused on learning.

March your hair kept growing. You returned to sporty shorts with matching silky shirts. Leg day every day. Running, endurance. Sir had chosen only two outfits for you to wear. It made decisions easy. He chose your food carefully for energy. By the end of all the workouts you’d be ready to head to bed, but you were quizzed on football stats every day from the games you spent hours watching. You lived through your team’s performance, trained hard to emulate your favorite players. Sport, sport, sport. The month passed quickly.

April you didn’t get a haircut, just put a little hair gel in it. Polos and khakis or bright, short shorts. Boat shoes. You started to drink again. Spent lots of time on social media, taking lots of selfies with vapid pearly smiles. A lot of them involved golf, which you were now taking up. Sir got you invited to a party on a yacht. Little discipline again, just spending money, and enjoying the money others spent, and the respect everyone gave you.

May you used a straight iron and bobby pins. Pink crop tops and pink high tops. Became a go-go dancer, shaking your butt every time someone slipped a sweaty dollar bill down the waistband of your glittery hot pants. Pumped your nips every night and morning. Sir worked your hole every morning until you could take a plug, then a thick dildo, then a fist. Sometimes, after your shows, you’d get the chance to fit other guys’ hands up your hole too. It felt good to be desired, great to be a slut, and utterly fabulous to be so flamboyant.

June you got a cut in front and a trim in the back. Button-ups with the snaps, tucked into tight Wranglers and secured with a massive belt buckle. You listened to country music the entire time you were awake. Spent time hunting and fishing, dressed in camo and/or waders. Beaten-up T-shirts and trucker caps half the time. Cowboy hats the other half. It was relaxing getting back into nature, relaxing listening to repetitive songs, relaxing to slip completely into this identity and hear the voices of anxiety silenced. Some time every day, Sir gave you hearty pats on the back, and butt, and you embraced him, totally at ease.

July you awoke in briefs and a singlet again. An extra-large polo shirt, sweater vest, and loose polyester dress pants were stuffed over you, and you were taken to a barbershop and given a tight waxed horseshoe flattop with a white, shiny, wide landing strip. Glasses for good measure too. The only fun you had was DnD, but mostly you were too busy reading academic papers, solving logic puzzles, and arguing with strangers on Quora to spend much time on the DnD sessions. Sir would turn the Internet off at 9 every night, though, and you’d have to wake up early the next day to catch up on your online pursuits. It felt good to know more than anyone else...except Sir, of course.

August you got tired of feeling like other guys were about to bully you and became the bully instead. Buzzed again, gym shorts, tank tops, lifting, protein shakes and meal plans: all the things you’d gotten tired of six months ago, but which seemed so comfortable and natural now. You almost didn’t want to continue the cycle of transformations. Begged Sir, naked and on your knees, your prominent pecs quivering slightly. Sir denied you. You needed still more discipline.

September you were to follow a detailed schedule to the minute. Your buzz was shaved daily on the back and sides, clippered to a 0.5 on top. You were issued one set of clothes for PT, and one set of clothes for day-to-day wear: a polo and cargo pants with stiff black boots that gave you blisters. There was a final set of clothing for dinners and special outings: a dress shirt secured with shirt stays, immaculately creased trousers, mirror-shined black shoes. Punishments were severe and severely boring: standing at attention for hours, endless sets of push-ups, and marches in circles with the sun beating on your shorn head. Despite the unpleasantness, you felt proud to be held to such a strict standard, and to comply with it at least most of the time. Sir would occasionally reward your compliance with a treat like a single ice cream bar or 20 minutes of free time.

October you asked again to become a jock, or a frat boy, again, but Sir, tight-lipped, shook his head. You hadn’t learned your lesson. Stripped of all clothing, you winced as you were shaved head to toe, and a chastity cage was forced on and locked. You were rubbed with lube before being covered in a thick black rubber suit that covered your entire body, zips held closed with a dozen miniature padlocks. You were let out of rubber only for your brief, intense workouts—for public matters, a thinner rubber suit that left your arms and legs exposed was fastened on you, after which you donned a plain black T-shirt, black jeans, black Converses and a black snapback. Half the time, a large plug was shoved up your ass. You didn’t have a strict schedule any more, but the punishments more than made up for it. Perhaps your entire existence was one punishment. You were beaten, forced into painful positions, your balls stretched, made to drink piss and eat from the floor. You slept in a large dog cage. Slowly, you got used to it, hastened by Sir’s hypnosis and brainwashing sessions. You realized how much effort Sir was putting into the training and resolved not to disappoint him again. The border between pain and pleasure disappeared, and you grew content in the moment, constant intense sensations forcing your attention on the present. For Halloween you were paraded out in your full rubber suit, a collar and leash around your neck.

November you knelt, bound, ready for the next layer of intensity, for a fresh round of humiliation and torture. You accepted whatever Sir might inflict upon you. But he untied you, let you out, gently cleaned you in the bathtub, and had you lie on a towel. It was only when you felt a soft, pillowy sensation enveloping your chastity cage that you realized what he’d planned. You had a large wardrobe of brightly colored T-shirts and pants and a full rack of chunky sneakers. There were rules, of course, particularly around bedtime, screen time, and getting your diaper changed, but you were otherwise free to play as you wished. The lack of punishment initially seemed wrong, like cheating, but you settled into your new pampered lifestyle as Sir gently encouraged you and occasionally told you life stories to learn from. By the end of the month, you were making cucumber sandwiches like a pro, wearing a cartoon sandwich T-shirt and overalls.

December Sir trimmed the sides and back of your head, undressed you, unlocked you from chastity, and showed you to yet another set of clothing. You couldn’t make heads or tails of it, but he didn’t tell you what you were supposed to become, just smiled and walked out of the room. No kinky gear or implements anywhere, just a fleshlight in the back of the drawer, behind the boxer shorts and miscellaneous patterned shirts and jeans. Sir just kind of...left you alone, not telling you when to wake up or what any consequences of anything would be. With the horniness from the previous months of chastity and discipline built up, you started to jerk off at least three times a day. Sitting at the dinner table with Sir eating pizza, you asked him what this was all about. It felt so wrong.

“Boy, this month I’m showing you what you haven’t had for several years: a ‘normal’ lifestyle. No control, no schedule, no denial, no punishments, just...freedom. You shouldn’t forget, I can give you any transformation I desire, and this month I want you to be a regular guy. What’s light without shadow, a vessel without the internal emptiness, a crisp autumn day without the muggy summer before it?”

Almost crying at this point, you nodded. You’d taken all this kinky artifice for granted, assumed that last month was Sir’s way of letting you off easy even though you were in diapers. You had gotten so accustomed to Sir’s control that you’d let yourself get tired of living your deepest fantasies as a prep and a jock.

You stood up. “Sir,” you started, about to apologize, about to thank him, about to tell him how much you loved him, but you pushed your face into his and gave him a deep kiss, inserting your tongue, feeling his warm mouth relax in pleasure. You hugged him tight, and he hugged you tighter, and you were together, equals now. Wait, equals? That didn’t feel right.

You pulled his arms behind his back and scowled. “I love you. That’s why I’m going to do to you what you did to me. We’ll start with you as a jock.” Sir’s eyes widened. You kept your face stern, but worried he’d find some way to punish you. Suddenly, Sir sat up and straightened his shoulders. “Sir, yes Sir!” he yelled. And so, another year began, with a Sir and boy playing through various transformations, except the Sir and boy were reversed this time, and a few times, for a month at a stretch, they’d stop and live as equals, just to appreciate what they had. Appreciate each other they most certainly did.

[canarhys]

valdangelo headcanons

hey guys. so... i reached 500 followers last night. and i’m really happy that you fuckers can deal with my dumbass posts because jesus, i never thought i’d get this far.

so in return for the amount of souls i have stocked up, i have redone the valdangelo headcanons i did for 100 followers a long time ago.

let’s fucking go.

• the two of them are meant for each other simply for the fact that nico sleeps all the time and eats so much junk food he has cavities while leo hasn’t slept for an entire month and hasn’t eaten in three days.

• they don’t like grand, fancy dates and instead go for drives through the city at night and hang outs at a fast food joint. (“nico stop saying mcdonald’s we’ve been eating there for the past week i’m starting to hallucinate ronald mcdonald.”)

• they don’t show much affection in public. usually it’s just hand-holding (it’s basically their second nature) and cheek kisses but when alone they’re touch-starved and cuddle all the fucking time.

• they play video games together obviously. when they compete (say, mario kart), it’s a ruckus because they’re both equally good so the entire camp watches and places bets because it’s so intense. when they play together, it’s usually nico on his nintendo 3ds playing pokémon with leo resting his head on his shoulder, making jokes and occasional pointers.

• i’m all for the idea that they two of them could hold conversations without even talking. nico and leo share a look, nod, and somehow they know what the other is implying. it’s insane.

• they get matching tattoos not just because it’s a couple thing but because it’s fun. they decide to get star tattoos on their ankles.

• nico: lend me a hand.

• leo: throws his prosthetic arm to him

• nico: thanks.

• i just love the thought of them having such funny ass laughs. nico cackles and it almost resembles a wicked witch. leo wheezes like a balloon losing air. also nico slaps people whenever he laughs while leo is stuck in a position for a fucking hour.

• and i just imagine when one is laughing the other is silently watching them with an adoring smile. despite the fact that the one laughing looks so fucking stupid.

• when they laugh at the same time it sounds like a hospital delivery room, ngl.

• they argue all the time but it’s over stupid shit like which superhero wins or who can be the most edgy/annoying. it’s all playful banter but it goes on for hours on end and everyone is about to kick them out.

• they’re fucking dorks; they watch jojo’s bizarre adventure and binge stupid instagram videos and recreate tik toks that are somehow worse than the original.

• they can’t give each other flowers because nico always ends up with lifeless, drooping ones and leo somehow manages to set all of them on fire so they just pack snacks and lunches for each other.

• they have to coax each other into taking care of themselves because they’re self-destructive little shits. nico often drags leo to bed when he’s working on a project. leo cooks nico healthy foods and forces him to brush his teeth. when one of them is sick, the other is by their side all the time.

• they share earbuds a lot. they both really like the arctic monkeys, they’re basically their soul band and whenever one of them is listening to them, the other senses it and immediately grabs the bud out of the other’s ear.

• i like the thought of them trying to be like buzzfeed unsolved and recording videos of themselves strolling through haunted houses and searching for cryptids but it would be so... disastrous.

• nico, playing don’t mine at night on a stereo at goatman’s bridge: come out, bitch.

• goatman: i’m fucking begging you to stop.

• leo, recording: fucking wheezing

• or they would try to be like game grumps and record themselves playing retro games like donkey kong or sonic but it also yields some fucked up results.

• leo, playing sonic adventure dx with tears in his eyes: screaming at the tv and trying not to have a nervous breakdown because the game is so fucking bad his brain functions have gone haywire

• nico: laughing so hard he knocked over twelve vases on the table

• they call each other by their last names a lot. it used to be an insult when they were arguing a lot back then, but now they use it as fun little nicknames with mild malice (unless one of them fucked up).

• they also have some personal ones for each other! nico calls leo “firebug” and “bombshell” and leo calls nico “sunshine” and “angel.” (they totally call each other “amor” and “bébé” as well.)

• they have small picnic dates at the strawberry fields in camp since leo loves strawberries to death and nico likes seeing leo’s adorable face as he eats them. usually they eat those along with chocolate dip and some milkshakes.

• leo has tried to teach nico how to cook in the past but it resulted in the inflammation of the argo ii’s kitchen and buford sending nico angry “glares” due to leo having to scrub off all the excess smog off of him.

• leo buys nico a fuck ton of hawaiian shirts as a joke but nico had worn all of them in less than a month and rocked all of them. leo now has taken the duty of buying as many as he can because damn, if his boyfriend didn’t look so cute.

• the two of them wear each other’s clothes all the time. leo uses the excuse “i’m cold” in order to achieve nico’s jacket or sweater. nico has started using it as well and leo hands him his hoodie or mittens. it’s cute.

• also i love the idea of them either wearing complementary clothing or drastically different ones, with no in-between. one day leo is wearing a soft rainbow-striped shirt under some overalls while nico wears a floral striped hawaiian tee, the next nico is in all black and leo is wearing a neon green jumpsuit. everyone gets whiplash from it.

• i feel like after the giant war and during apollo’s mortal quest, they go with him to indiana to search for meg. and they find themselves at the waystation and after the entire commodus fiasco, the two of them decide to stay and live there. both of them are going to visit chb in the summer but they like the thought of having normal lives and being normal teenagers, plus jo and emmie basically adopted them into the family and all of the kids there love them (especially georgina).

• at camp, they usually hang out in bunker nine or the hades cabin since both of them don’t like crowds and get overwhelmed by them. also they talk about conspiracy theories all the fucking time.

• leo: what if... in a parallel universe... we were straight...?

• nico: holy shit.

• they’re such horror movie fanatics. leo’s favorite is texas chainsaw massacre and nico has a heart for alien. both of them have confirmed that killer clowns from outer space is the best horror movie of all time and have watched it exactly thirty-six times.

• they both had serious discussions of which horror tropes their friends are. they are still categorizing to this day.

• nico: piper would be a final girl, that’s clear. what about jason?

• leo: first one who dies. that fucker is literally dead and hanging in a hotel.

• i also think the two of them love horror/thriller shows. stranger things, tales from the crypt, ash vs. evil dead. especially ash vs. evil dead. leo literally dressed up as ash for halloween, chainsaw hand and everything. nico, in turn, dressed up as a deadite.

• speaking of halloween, it’s like the culmination of their entire beings. because they both a) like dressing up, b) like free food, c) love halloween decor and shit, and d) love seeing each other’s happy faces during the holiday.

• both of them are incredibly dedicated to it, wearing black and orange and hanging up the majority of the decorations around camp. they buy the candy, organize the activities, and take a roll of what campers are dressing as so if someone is worried that they’ll have the same costume as another person, they can check with them. percy says they should get married on halloween just because they’re that into it.

• both of them hyper-fixate a lot. leo gets so invested in a project that he forgets to eat or sleep or even acknowledge anyone else around him, so nico makes sure to not disturb him unless it’s time for lunch or bed. he wraps his arms around leo as he works and buried his face in the crook of his neck and leo always smiles.

• leo does the same for nico, as the guy is incredibly invested in nerdy things that he tries not to tell anyone lest they make fun of him. so leo lets his boyfriend infodump as they lay in bed together, stroking his dark wavy hair and watching nico’s mouth move and continue to describe a dnd campaign he’s been watching recently. leo has to use all his will to stop him and get him to brush his teeth.

• they’re not really much to make future plans as they’re pretty pessimistic about everything due to their pasts but one day they found themselves discussing about getting an apartment or even a house together. leo said he’ll probably open a garage if they become the next caretakers of the waystation or even get a house and ask annabeth to help with the design. nico joked that they could have a floral shop there too since they’re both bad with flowers. and suddenly the conversation shifted to them planning a round-trip across the world on festus and one of them mentioned “kids.” then the two realized what they were doing and stopped, albeit hesitantly.

• i love the idea of persephone being a total mom to them (i don’t care about canon, she loves hades children no matter that her husband cheated) and having garden parties with them down in the underworld. she started teaching them how to take care of flowers better — which was sort of relevant since nico brought up the flower shop at home thing — and soon their blossoms almost stopped wilting or catching on fire.

• persephone: hey, you guys want some pomegranate?

• leo: yeah s—

• nico: n o w e ‘ r e g o o d .

• persephone wasn’t trying to trap leo in the underworld but nico couldn’t take chances.

• leo’s pretty good with instruments because of tool proficiency and is a master at the drums and guitar. nico actually has a nice singing voice and recently got into guitar as well, so you bet your ass that they have jam sessions constantly.

• leo is the gay that can drive while nico should not be within a steering wheel in any circumstance, so leo usually drives them to their dates. that, or they enlist the help of nico’s zombie chauffeur to drive them there.

• both of them share this soft and tender expression with each other that they don’t express towards other people, not even their other friends. it’s sort of like a face saved for them, for their little world and it’s cute.

• nico is way more touchy than leo and likes to wrap his arms around leo’s waist a lot. he often peppers his face with kisses and shit and leo gets really shy about it. when this happens, he nuzzles his face into nico’s shoulder or chest to stop his boyfriend but nico is resilient.

• i just... love valdangelo being so soft towards each other. every single banter they have they do with heart eyes and they usually just cuddle in content silence because they’re not big on talk, communicating better by actions. when they kiss, it’s like a perfect mix because nico is cold while leo is warm. they often lay in bed, smiling as their limbs are tangled together. maybe they’ll start up another conversation or game file. but for now, they like the quiet.

[jq37]

hey hey hey!! have u seen the new bloodkeep episode, and if so..... thoughts?

**spoilers for avanash and double pants the caged elf and the crown**

(I have another ask that I’m going to use to talk about the airship ambush ep)

Rekha on Fantasy Spelling: “J, apostrophe, O, H, Umlaut, N.”/ “An umlaut over the H???”

I love that this episode starts with them arguing politics with an eagle. Brennan takes every opportunity to start talking philosophy.

“Please don’t call it seed.”

I love than no one calls Leiland by his goth name at all. I don’t even remember what it is right now. He’s just Leiland, the giant mess of a Walmart ringwraith.

So the Vingury show up and everyone makes a point to be as unnatural and creepy as possible for the drama of it all instead of acting natural.

Leiland doing a full of Mice and Men on poor Deckland. That’s just what I was thinking before Matt made the reference.

I think Barbarian is such a fun class for a new player. Not a ton of of complications. Just messing people up.

I wonder what would have happened if they had tried to persuade one of the Vingury into making a sacrifice instead of ambushing Deckland.

OK, what did Deckland do to Leiland? Or vice versa?

Efink Skype calls Maggie’s dad who beats the tar out of Zaul’nazh when he finds out he knocked her up without putting a ring on it. “SHOW ME YOUR HANDS.”

Anyway, lbr. This episode is only important for two reasons: Avanash and Double Pants.

Based on the character image, I thought Avanash was going to be a straight Gollum expy but y’all. Y’all.

Sidenote, since the players know this is a LOTR game, I wonder how much meta-gaming they have to stop themselves from doing. Like, “OK, this is this character so I know they can be corrupted.”

“This dude is full crazy.”

“Oh hey.”

“Don’t make this gesture at him.”

“I guess the only query I would raise here is how are you going to keep my bones.”

The comedic brilliance of Avanash truly is the completely even and normal sentences that melt into complete nonsense. 

“Are you them? What?”

This is just going to turn into me quoting everything Avanash said if I don’t rein it in now. 

“What does this lady think she is? A river? HELP.”

Lilith going off on being sensitive about mental health terminology, even though she’s a full evil general of the magic empire trying to genocide like 3 races. 

“WHAT IS CRAZY ABOUT WANTING YOUR BONES?” I want that on a shirt so bad. 

Everyone just breaks down. No one can handle Avanash. Not even DnD vet Matt who has sat through some insanity. In terms of just pure humor, Avanash is Bren’s best NPC ever. 

Markus’s question about the first five things he would do was a really smart move I think. Like, within this craziness, a very smart PC move. 

Not even Brennan can keep a straight face. “I’m gonna be very clear.” He has to stop to crack up. 

Maggie’s go to move is to just promise people shopping trips. 

Good on Brennan for being such a cool DM. Bargaining for spell slots. Giving Jessa advantage on the pants roll to reward the, “She was a design major” improv. I would love to play at his table. 

And then Leiland going off about child sweatshops. Sohkbar, “That’s where you draw the line?”

Lilith started making the “Where do eagles wear their pants” point and at first I was like, “Girl what?” but then, as she went on, I was like, “Hmm, she might be on to something.” Anyway

DOUBLE PANTS, DOUBLE PANTS, DOUBLE PANTS

Jessa coming in CLUTCH. A 19 and a NAT 20. Top of her class! What a wild roll on such a plot irrelevant thing. I love DnD so much. 

 For such a mercenary guy, Markus is kind of nice. Trying to give Leiland a morale boost last ep. Paying Jessa in this ep and offering to give her a commission for his crew, even though she would have done it for free to help her mom most likely. 

The rest of the party is overseeing this very important plot point and Maggie is like, “Shopping episode!”

I was trying to figure out Efink’s name the other day and I didn’t so to find out in this ep that it’s KNIFE BACKWARDS and I didn’t notice murdered me instantly. 

Also, I spent 2 hours trying to reverse that, “What do you have there?/A knife!/No!” gif  for a post after this ep but tumblr wouldn’t let me post it. But I want you to know that I tried. 

Efink and Lilith’s friendship is so funny to me.

“Stop saying mean things about my friend!”

Also, I forgot to mention before, Stalker getting covered in spiders and being like, “AHHHH. Eh, not so bad.”

“I don’t use this word lightly. This guy is a Goober.”

Brennan’s happy DM face right to the camera set me on edge until the reveal. You never wanna see your DM make that face.

Markus and Leiland have a heart to heart. Leiland lightly flirts with Markus. I am here for it. 

HAMHEAD HAS THE CROWN.

THIS IS WHY YOUR GUARD THE PRISONER YOU GUYS. THERE ARE SO MANY OF YOU.

Pushing Avanash in the lava was in character but I would have kept him around. There are still 3 non-Leiland Vingury. They could hypothetically made another crown. 

Good on Erika for enlisting Stalker’s tracking skills. These PC’s really make use of the story elements to help them out. 

All of the snapping and hand punching and stuff Brennan does is hypnotizing to me. 

Cut back to Maggie who is still shopping. Wild.

Oh, wait. There’s one more important thing in this episode. Maggie using Power Word: Kill on the torture dude.  Like, not the actual spell, but that’s basically what happened. 

“Cool. Maybe next time that will be the first thing out of your mouth instead of your fucking tight five.”

Truly brutal.

I didn’t know dire bats were a thing before now but I love them.

Olag is back because of course he is. 

“THE KICKED DOWN AND MADE THE DOOR HAPPEN.”

“mISTRESS? You asshole!”

“How do you become the villains of the villains?”

Efink being, “Y’all, I can be queen of the good guys and get us all hall passes. We’re good.” She’s selfish but she’s also gonna get everyone out w/ her so there are layers here. 

“GHOSTS ARE OUR THING. THEY’RE SPECIFICALLY MOST OF WHAT WE DO. THAT’S BULLSHIT!”

“You’re a large bird.”/ “You’re a large asshole.”

Efink kills Stalker which is another short sighted move I think but also very in character.

Anyway, they escape on Markus’ ship but are ambushed by his brother’s ship which is the lead in to next ep’s airship battle, which I’ll cover next!

Anyway, very curious about where this story is going to end seeing as we want the PC’s to succeed but a success for them means, like, straight genocide. 

[quadratic-shipping]

I know we all say FLARP’s human equivalent would be DND and while I can absolutely see Terezi, Aradia, and Tavros loving DND lately? I’ve kinda been questioning whether in a world where both A) the trolls enjoy the same media content we do today and B) Vriska doesn’t have the pressure of Spidermom to engage in a game where it’s more easy and convenient to murder people, whether Vriska would enjoy human DND. I think that there shouldn’t be any doubt that she absolutely loves FLARP, no question, but while DND is the most aesthetically similar to FLARP and was obviously the inspiration, I think that there are a few key differences between the two. 

1. Lack of Action- This one sort of speaks for itself tbh? Vriska is very about action action action so I think she probably enjoyed the IRL aspect of FLARP, 

2. Higher cooperation with others required- DND is mostly played cooperatively, FLARP seemed like it was a game that lended itself to both cooperative and competitive play. I think that Vriska would probably be getting banned from a lot of table s people would refuse to play with her because as a gamer she is “Kinda Toxic”. I mean, Let’s Be Honest DND players are kinda mostly monsters when they’re playing, if you play DND you likely know one of. Those Guys, but Vriska is literally and canonically designed to be one of THOSE GUYS.

3. FLARP was more widely available- Even after she was killing most of her opponents she was still able to find plenty other of people to face, I mean I guess you could argue that since scheduling was less of an issue that probably helped? But right now I can’t see Vriska NOT having a high player group turnover, and with DND it is certainly fairly popular among nerds, but with things like scheduling actually being able to come together with a party for a session is difficult so she likely would be able to play a lot of it. FLARP was also able to be played from different locations in what seemed like a convenient manner, which while Possible for DND, is not ideal. I’m also pretty sure playing solo, or with just two people would be a lot more fun & easy.

4. TFW no IRL loot- Another motive for Vriska was to massively hoard stacks of gold and riches, while getting loot is possible in-game it is not something DM’s generally let you take from game to game, or get as often. 

In contrast I think between the two, what Vriska would prefer more than DND is gaming, please consider:

1. Plenty of action- With gaming you’re know able to further participate in fights beyond just saying what you’re doing, and fights involve some Physical? Skill. It also has the benefits of involving actual visuals.

2. Easy to play without friends- Even when you’re playing multiplayer games, oftentimes many of them can be competitive so there’s no need to have people who WANT to play with you. additionally these competitive games often randomly match you up with others to fight, and there’s a wide variety of people on the sites that are easily available to match up with. 

3. Games are a’ plenty- Not only is it harder to get turned away from an entire game, but there are hundreds of games to play, thousands of opponents, and it generally takes little effort or time compared to DND to find a game. There are also a lot larger communities of gamers in general than people who play DND.

4. Lootboxes- Look into your heart of hearts, and tell me that Vriska doesn’t just change out the luck based mechanic of dice for lootboxes. Look into my eyes and tell me Vriska doesn’t buy lootboxes, you can’t because I’m RIGHT. Anyway Vriska replaces gold w/ ingame tokens and skins and stuff, thank you for your time.

In conclusion, if FLARP were not a game, I believe that Vriska would like Videogames better than DND.

[veliseraptor]

uhhhhh hey it's me again, and I don't know if you noticed, but I have made it through all 17 pages of your sam winchester is not your therapist tag. sorry about the flood of notifications you've surely gotten from me. anyway. I love this AU. like a lot. I'm looking forward to whenever you post more? also I just have so many headcanons for this now. do you think they play DnD, or like, the LotR version of DnD? just imagine them arguing about how to create Sindarin names.

I did notice and I’m delighted about it, so...don’t worry about apologizing for the notifications. It’s marvelous. this is one of my littler aus (uh, relatively speaking) so it’s always nice to see it get some love. 

and yeah, I really need to get back to writing more in it, because...I do still have a lot of fondness for that verse, regardless of my status w/r/t supernatural fandom generally. 

I would bet that Sam played DnD, and then worked on getting Loki into it. Loki was initially kind of “pshhh no thanks” about it but Sam’s like “come on, dude, it’s live-action cooperative storytelling, you’ll love it” and Loki’s like “maybe, but with other people”

except ofc Loki ends up getting totally into it and then they end up getting into detailed arguments about mechanics and worldbuilding and whether these naming conventions make sense in context

at some point there ends up being a Silmarillion-based campaign that gets kind of nuts and maybe a little overinvolved

I’m trying to think of who they’d game with, though? finding people Loki gets along with is kind of a challenge. I am enjoying imagining a game with Sam, Cas, Loki, Thor, Steve, and Jane. 

(for some reason I feel like Jane would be the most like “haha I have no idea what I’m doing guys bear with me” but also one of the best players.)